Why do Christians Hate Homosexuals?

I was standing by the font, engaging in one of my favourite activities. We had 150 children in from the local school and we had constructed a whole morning for them to explore our vast church. As well as a number of interactive activities, each child would also get a tour of the church with one of us. We knew what we wanted to say, but we needed to be flexible enough to answer the many questions they would have. So my next tour was starting. Here, at the font, surrounded by fifteen eager young people, I would begin by asking what this thing was and why we used it. But already a hand was up. A nine year old girl really wanted to ask her question. Why, she asked, do Christians hate homosexuals? Those were her exact words and the question will forever be etched on my heart. I was shocked by it. This question expressed how this girl, and no doubt many young people, saw our message. I hope I answered the question well. I said that, when I was her age, people could be locked up for being gay, so some older people still had problems with homosexuality, yet here, in this church, we did not hate people and everyone was welcome.

That was in 2010. Two years later I found myself encouraged by my bishop to take a mini-sabbatical between jobs. I did not have much time to arrange it, so I took the opportunity to follow some contacts my brother (Archdeacon of Northern Europe) gave me, both to meet Porvoo church leaders and to travel around Denmark, Sweden and Latvia. It so happened that the decision to allow couples of the same gender to marry in church had recently been taken in both the Church of Sweden and the Church of Denmark, so that was a particular topic of our conversation. I remember having coffee and cake with Peter, Bishop of Copenhagen. He, and indeed others, were insistent that, in the Lutheran Church, marriage is not seen as a sacrament. It is a gift of God in creation, but a practical matter, not encased in doctrine. It was, therefore, a relatively simple matter to move, with their society, to accept same-sex marriage in church. What was the reaction in Denmark? One of relief, he replied. People were so pleased that their church had not abandoned them.

Later on, I was visiting Lund (Sweden) having travelled along the famous 19k Øresund bridge. The bishop was not free to see me, but I spent a very enjoyable morning with her chaplain. A decision had had to be faced as to how the Church of Sweden would respond to the new legislation that allowed same-sex couples to marry in Sweden. Per shared with me the speech made by Bishop Antje Jackelén at that time. It was in Swedish, but he translated it for me. Marriage is a matter of protection against destructive expressions of sexuality; as such it can be just as important for gay couples to marry. Marriage is a God-given part of creation, but not a sacrament. The life of Christ is the key to unlocking scripture and interpreting it; we do not see scripture as declaring gay marriage to be impossible. We can live with difference over this issue; we must not elevate it to having significance greater than it deserves. Change can and does happen, such as in the case of circumcision or slavery. Perceptions change, as does our knowledge; the way we look at homosexuality today is very different from (say) 50 years ago. Should the Church be following society in this matter? Antje challenged her synod to have greater confidence in the message of the Gospel and to see that centuries of preaching about the value of individuals and our oneness in Christ has helped to shape society. In Christ there is no slave or free, no Greek or Gentile. We are one in Christ. A more compassionate, understanding and accepting attitude towards gay people might well be seen as the fruit of Christian teaching and not a departure from it.

I shared with Per my view that you can find many examples of people, who have been legally married, yet whose relationships are pitted by abuse and display no evidence of being sacramental. Yet deeply committed relationships can become sacramental. He accepted that idea. He also like my suggestion that the issue of same-sex relationships has become demonic in the Anglican Church. That is to say, it has been elevated to a position in which it becomes what defines us, rather than our communion being defined by our shared new life in Christ.